Heights of Public Speaking

I don't make fun of people who cannot speak english properly. But given a situation wherein the person has decided to do something in english , I expect they take proper linguistic advice.

Now here is a person who wants to represent the people and has not even cared to use proper language in his election campaign. If he is so lethargic or insensitive not to take help from those who know english or atleast allow others to draft the election campaign notice or else how can we be sure that he will represent us properly.?

This is what he says in his campaign pamphlet regarding his candidature to Mumbai Muncipal Corporation (Ward no. name of candidate etc are kept confidential)

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The heading says -

"Humble request - Interested candidate from ward no......."
(All candidates are interested in getting elected aren't they? OR is he the only one interested? Or otherwise what is his special interest that the others don't have?)

Again he goes - "It gives me immense pleasure to introduce myself, I........"
(What pleases him so much in introducing himself. A Narcissist? Any way its immensely clear that he is more than pleased with himself.)

"Iam a Social Worker and also own a business of decorator. Iam serving people selflessly for last 30 years. Since my work is of decoration - whether it is social, religions, marriage, birth ceremony etc, social work is in my aim."
(First he says decoration is his business, then he converts it to social work and then mixes it up with serving the society and thus projects himself as the ideal society serving politician. Consistently with his thoughts he mixes up society , religion , marriage , birth etc thus trying to place himself on all the facets of life that touches the people irrespective of caste , religion etc. The ideal leader.)


Now come the clinchers -

" Dear friend I vows to solve all problems of ward no......and promise to make the ward no........... and idea ward."
(What an idea sirji - solve all the problems of the ward, as simple as that. Wish someone would make him the prime minister)

"Your support is highly solicited"
(Sirji all your ideals are very high, so why make it still higher?)


Our most humble fellow signs off with :

"Your own dynamic candidate & social worker"
(Though he is dynamic and doing his business in real time his real heart is in only social work. Ah.. what great ideals.That's what's called as brand identity & value based management. All brand managers please note)

After this he gives a note :

"Note : Pleas be free to call me at below gives nos for only problem"
(Was it a note of caution? So it transpires that since he has cleaned the ward of all its problems, he has no where to store them and so he has piled it up at his home. Hence he says - please call me i shall supply you with the problems. But only if you make pleas for it)

One thing is sure , the decorator who is also a social worker and who now wants to further serve the society, is on the right path. He is the best fit considering the qualities of his peer group and those of the great many others who are currently engaged in 'serving the society'.