Sunday, 1 February 2009


It is new year now i.e 2010.
And no, I have'nt blown my top.

2010 and January. Its with great trepidation that I Open the morning news paper.
Had I won the Padma Shri ? or generally speaking any of the Padma awards.
I have done nothing. But cant say- I may be the chosen one. So better read the paper carefully and be prepared for - "Why were you given the award?"
Should I try and get some books of accounts from the garment exporter friend of mine? He may not part with the same though , for even he is anxious about the Padma things, what with the shawl exporter getting 'Padma-ed' last time.
The shawl guy would surely have initially thought that the President of India might be mocking at him for the bad quality shawl he sold her last. What a Padma way to take revenge !!
You got another way to get picked though.
Here it is step wise:
Step 1. Learn Karate, and do a lot of excersice. (By the way Iam a brown belt . Only excersice left for me now)
Step 2. Keep a stone face ,for God's Sake, even while acting and then you will manage to be a called an actor and a fantastic one at that too. Whether its a Singhh or Kingg or a Beggar its all the same ,like the local trains, No matter what -crowd assured.
Some guys have succeded the above mentioned way before. Box office collections touched record highs of around 45 crore in the first fortnight. Whats your Padma thing against a few strategically spread box office good will.
Had 'Dhara singh' learnt this technique Iam sure he would have been awarded Padma too for his contribution to 'Nuclear Physics'. What the heck - can be contributions to Odissi also.
But then there is a different clan of men who while fighting for their country, unselfishly , get in to the Padma Vyuh, compulsarily. Year after year. Man after man. After all the common man who pays for the tickets in the stadia, count a lot and what about the ads. This 'industrial good will' too probably spreads iteself around. Awards have to come.
Boxers are a different story - they get stunned outside the ring too. Or may be this is a ring where victors hands are raised before the opponent enters the arena. Poor chaps were left holding their gloves. They should try kabaddi next time. Wrestlers , the same story, and more suited for Kabaddi.
With most Indians going for kabaddi , we should look at a new system for our Padma awards - auctions. The bid-money atleast will help to roll out the bail out packages fast.
That way the highest bidder is happy that he has won the Padmashri in a transparent manner and ofcourse the rest of the Indians can continue with their kabaddi knowing fully well their incapability.

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