Critical Satirical

The OH!! Blood Group

2010-06-14T17:39:00.002+05:30

Never thought these things existed till I was stunned by this piece of news .
May not be long before we start hearing about Hi! group, Hey! group! Kool! group etc

Kerala & the Dried Up Coke

2010-03-22T20:37:00.008+05:30

Most of the keralites, like the rest of the Indians, would'nt hesitate to empty a coke bottle down their throats especially now in the summers. However the the relation between the "Coke People" and kerala has been uneasy.

First of all whats most unsettling was that the multinational cola giant was given the required permission to open a bottling plant in Palakkad (an Eastern kerala district and a bastion of communism) by none other than the communists themselves. What merit they saw in permitting the same by which they effectively broke their anti multinational and anti capitalistic stance , need to be questioned.

Then as the agitations began on account of the huge water consumptions by the coke plant leading to lowering of water table in the surrounding areas causing droughts etc, the government resumed their anti-multinational , anti-exploitation stance.

Also there were accusations of the coke being contaminated with pescticides (obviously that had to happen as the ground water itself had such contaminations, but then the multinationals should have purified the same as they had international standards to maintain)

After all these accusations , counter accusations , the company closing down etc - the kerala government is now claiming a loss of around Rs.200 crores and the committee of the local people are claiming damages of around Rs.4500 crore.

I have something to say here - "Please refer to the claims settled in case of a colossal tragedy like the Bhopal Gas Tragedy and then make the tall claims that you are making .It may be more worthwhile to make claims against the state government which granted the permission. After all can the permission givers be left scot free while penalising the permission seekers?"

Great Vocabulary

2010-03-04T18:25:00.002+05:30

I came across two ingenuos people on the net.

They argued furiously :

Con-grass...........is ...#@$&^&&$#@..
BJ..Peeed $#267^%$...

Innovative guys.

Penniless Olympic Campaign

2010-02-14T21:19:00.002+05:30

No money, No Uniforms and thus our athletes fall back on our national sport - begging.
That's what our sports associations and administrations have trained them for.

The fall back option may give them some solace by way of fund raisers.

Feel like sending some Indian sports officials to the winter olympics devoid of their clothes so that they can watch the games sitting bare assed on the snow.

A Fast Woman

2010-02-14T20:49:00.005+05:30

She comes from the 'Pardah Lands'.
But unveiled a fast one the other day.

From behind their shrouds
Came her countrmen proud

This is the rousing reception Naseem Hamid got for her dream run in SAF games.
Atlast Pakistan has done something without the guns and it took a woman to show the way too.
And as always it takes a woman to break through her veil.

A Chest Full Of Ideas

2010-02-13T13:24:00.010+05:30

Firstly, I had this hobby of staring at chests (with gender bias ofcourse)
That hooked me on to something else - staring at all printed chests (no gender bias here).
My occupation led me to the below mentioned discoveries.

Alas, I cannot pride myself as a pioneer on my Columbus style adventures - for I have seen many others of my clan straining their eyes in the process of similar discoveries.

Here I go :

"Printed on a female T-shirt - "Iam good in Bed - I can sleep for hours"
(for a split second I had those wonderful illusions until I fell down with a thud)

Again on the same place , the very same gender - "Whats inside is much better than what's seen outside - My heart"
(I didn't salivate this time and being more circumspect managed to avoid the thud)

"Power of Observation is good - But watch were you are going"
(that belonged to a crowd puller and all the columbuses managed to return with a sheepish grin)

"All Cover-Ups are not always bad"
(Very true, or else people are sure to go under the vehicle tyres, wide eyed!)

With monsoon coming things have become a bit difficult, between managing my umbrella and surveying the available reading material. But for the sake of you all , I promise I shall continue the good work.

Off Goes The OX To Make Way For the Tiger

2010-02-13T00:02:00.002+05:30

The chinese want to catch the Ox's tail before the tiger comes.
The tiger being inauspicious they prefer the Ox.
More over the tiger comes on the valentines day.

Why do the chinese behave this way?

About Uncomfortable Smooches & PDAs

2010-02-12T23:36:00.006+05:30

Never thought that like the Indians , the europeans too are not very comfortable locking the lips in public. Though in India its a blasphemy to coochy coo in public, the europeans are only a bit uncomfortable about it.

For Indians all their culture gets washed away by the saliva from the smooching mouths.

And by now you must all be knowing that PDA doesn't mean Personal Digital Assistant/Accessory always.

Heights of Public Speaking

2010-02-12T22:07:00.011+05:30

I don't make fun of people who cannot speak english properly. But given a situation wherein the person has decided to do something in english , I expect they take proper linguistic advice.

Now here is a person who wants to represent the people and has not even cared to use proper language in his election campaign. If he is so lethargic or insensitive not to take help from those who know english or atleast allow others to draft the election campaign notice or else how can we be sure that he will represent us properly.?

This is what he says in his campaign pamphlet regarding his candidature to Mumbai Muncipal Corporation (Ward no. name of candidate etc are kept confidential)

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The heading says -

"Humble request - Interested candidate from ward no......."
(All candidates are interested in getting elected aren't they? OR is he the only one interested? Or otherwise what is his special interest that the others don't have?)

Again he goes - "It gives me immense pleasure to introduce myself, I........"
(What pleases him so much in introducing himself. A Narcissist? Any way its immensely clear that he is more than pleased with himself.)

"Iam a Social Worker and also own a business of decorator. Iam serving people selflessly for last 30 years. Since my work is of decoration - whether it is social, religions, marriage, birth ceremony etc, social work is in my aim."
(First he says decoration is his business, then he converts it to social work and then mixes it up with serving the society and thus projects himself as the ideal society serving politician. Consistently with his thoughts he mixes up society , religion , marriage , birth etc thus trying to place himself on all the facets of life that touches the people irrespective of caste , religion etc. The ideal leader.)

Now come the clinchers -

" Dear friend I vows to solve all problems of ward no......and promise to make the ward no........... and idea ward."
(What an idea sirji - solve all the problems of the ward, as simple as that. Wish someone would make him the prime minister)

"Your support is highly solicited"
(Sirji all your ideals are very high, so why make it still higher?)

Our most humble fellow signs off with :

"Your own dynamic candidate & social worker"
(Though he is dynamic and doing his business in real time his real heart is in only social work. Ah.. what great ideals.That's what's called as brand identity & value based management. All brand managers please note)

After this he gives a note :

"Note : Pleas be free to call me at below gives nos for only problem"
(Was it a note of caution? So it transpires that since he has cleaned the ward of all its problems, he has no where to store them and so he has piled it up at his home. Hence he says - please call me i shall supply you with the problems. But only if you make pleas for it)

One thing is sure , the decorator who is also a social worker and who now wants to further serve the society, is on the right path. He is the best fit considering the qualities of his peer group and those of the great many others who are currently engaged in 'serving the society'.

Gone With The Wind, the Story of Mergers

2010-02-04T23:53:00.004+05:30

I set the alarm for next morning on my cellphone.
That set me thinking. A few years ago I used to do the same on watches, mechanical or digital ones.
Now watches and and telephones have merged.

So have cameras and telephones.
Kodak people who made a fortune selling films went broke.
Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine the rrriing......... rrrrring...... thing to eat up their cameras.

Type writers made way to their posher cousins - the elctronic type writers, whose print outs commanded a premium as regards the out put from their poor cousins. That's before that intelligent, multi tasking computer fellow ate up the whole of typing world. Remington became history.

Form walk man we have come a long way to ipods and songs & videos on mobiles etc.
We rarely switch on our bulky music systems now a days unless we are partying. We cannot stay put to give company to our immobile audio systems. The words 'Stereo' and 'music system' have almost been forgotten.

The edges are getting blurred day by day. Music available on telephone, telephones doubling up as mini computers, computers sort of becoming the hub from where thing are routed or re -routed in case of need. Things have become interchangeable and truly integrated. The time is not far away when the multiple gadgets may give way for a single one.

ALL MERGED IN TO ONE.

Tiger Woods got a Lot to Learn

2010-02-01T23:55:00.003+05:30

While Tiger Woods is ducking behind trees and hiding behind bushes and is all but being lost to the world, here is a man who can teach a thing or two to the tiger.

Our man married five times and is under engagement for a sixth one.
He has a love child with a woman who is the daughter of a man (his friend). The man (the father of the woman mind you) being 6 years younger to him.

While he is happily fu...ng around, his ministry is trying to prevent the spread of aids by condom use and faithfulness.

Thats South African President for you - Joseph Zuma.
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In 2006, while being acquitted of rape, Mr Zuma admitted that he had made a mistake by having unprotected sex with a woman he knew to be HIV-positive. She was also the daughter of a family friend.
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While Tiger Woods is hopping from one sex addiction clinic to the other, Zuma, here, is steadily building on his pre-marital, marital, post-marital & extra-marital ties and all the while ruling over his people.

Top 10 Product Recalls

2010-02-01T22:57:00.003+05:30

Toyota recalls around 9 million cars for replacing two things 1) Faulty mats that meddle with the pedals and 2) Pedals that press themselves down thus giving an auto acceleration mode to the car every now and then.

Honda calls back around half a million cars for replacing window switches that might catch fire while they help in winding down the windows. (thus the passengers may end up having fingers looking like french fries)

U thought only cars can be recalled? Nope, recall history has been from cribs to medicines to processed beef. The last one was recalled because some of the cattle slaughtered were found reluctant to walk to the slaughter house and hence suspected of having diseases. (or were they unwilling to be slaughtered?)

Here is a list of top 10 product recalls in history.

A Deserving Padmashri

2010-02-01T14:56:00.003+05:30

'I deserved it' - says Saif Ali Khan regarding him getting awarded the Padma shri.
He also adds - 'The previous awardees haven't exaclty invented nuclear bombs', thus admitting that his having done nothing just doesn't exclude him from the reckoning.

Add two and two togather we get to know that nothing much needs be done to deserve a Padmashri. Any Shriman can deserve it. Then why do only some get awarded?

And then he says "I will live up to the award".

Now if no one knows on what basis the award is given, then how does one live up its expecatations?

What the heck, if Obama can be given the Nobel Prize as a forward looking statement than on his achievements then why not Saif, atleast that will keep him away from hunting black bucks.

Why Should I BLog?

2010-01-31T20:35:00.002+05:30

Here is someone trying to assign some reasons , methods and some sanity to the blogging world and spirit.

Are those the reasons why I blog?
Are those methods used by me? OR should I use them at all?
Should there be any methods or rules at all?

The social media is itself becoming so complicted that it is now almost as diverse as the human nature itself and i guess assigning rules may be like stifling the diversity.

The diversity shall define the boundary and rules.

The All New iPad

2010-01-31T19:30:00.004+05:30

After a laptop, note book and an iPhone now its the iPad.
iPad is something between an iPhone & a Laptop and looks a tablet like thing.
Roughly costing between $500 to & $900 (Rs.23000 to Rs.43000 roughly)
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But will it succeed? The iPad is by no means a sure bet. It still, after all, is a tablet—fairly big and fairly heavy. Unlike an iPod or an iPhone, you can’t stick an iPad in your pocket or pocketbook. It also looks to be a cumbersome device. The iPad would be ideal for a three-handed person—two hands to hold it and another to manipulate its touchscreen—but most humans, alas, have only a pair of hands. And with a price that starts at $500 and rises to more than $800, the iPad is considerably more expensive than the Kindles and netbooks it will compete with.

These iPad like , tablet like things have been in existence for quite some time, however now they stand a chance of being the solution to a set of problems rather than being a problem whose solution no one knew.

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Probably the one big effect that iPad is going to have is on the book worms. iPad has a book store wherein you can keep reading books one after the other. Also the tablet is almost like a book being held (and light enough too) and can be held and read as if reading a book.

Now its not actually the nerds who are having a party over the iPad release. Its the ladies.
iPad was quick to remind them of a different kind of pad they are used to and having fired their imagination they are now fantacising about real iPads, iTampons and iCondoms. Listen to these tweets....

For Those Who Feel Very English.

2010-01-30T22:40:00.002+05:30

Here is a blog with a speciality friday feature aimed at those who feel themselves to be on top of the english vocabulary peak.

Get ready for a crash landing with a big thud.

Carbon Credit and Copenhagen

2009-12-28T23:38:00.003+05:30

I got overwhelmed by the avalanche of reporting from copenhagen while I was still trying to find out what they were really talking about in Copenhagen.

Global warming, ozone layer, carbon credits and emissions etc. looked like the icing on the cake that I could not see.

Then came the whole lot confusion, resentment, anger persuasion etc of negotiating the text , with some trying to keep alive the kyoto agreement (where in the world is that place?and why do they want to keep it alive?), while some others wanted to wipe kyoto off.

Obama strode in , the Chinese premier and Indian Prime minister both sulked, and while the european countries lined up behind the US as usual the Africans feeling more safer in the company of brown skins stood beside the Indians and didn't particularly mind the Sino-Indian camarderie.

Locally, I listened to a lot of technical jargons, conjectures and theories - coming from my friends & colleagues who in the first place never believed in weather/climate or its forecasts. All of a sudden their awareness had increased.

But of all the people only one man spoke explicitly and sensibly about climate talks, laying things out simply - M.D.Nalappat . Its better to read him than attend any Copenhagen talks.

On Auto Pilot To Catch The Flight

2009-12-28T23:14:00.002+05:30

Mamta Bannerjee beats the traffic.

Couldn't help wondering what some other ministers might have done - probably would 've called up the airline to wait for them till they got out of the jam and boarded.

To some extent that might have happened here too - the pilot getting mixed up in the traffic jam looked very fishy.

Listen to This ...........

2009-12-28T21:05:00.004+05:30

Someone says - "......matters of public policy are not to be discussed in public."

WHAT THE F... does he mean?

Then how are they to be discussed - privately? Secretly may be... so that those privileged few with prior information (insider information) of things can keep on exploiting the others - the public, because they are not entitled to know of policies made on their behalf.

This is what external affairs minister S.M. Krishna had to tell about the tweeting Shashi Tharoor and his 'wayward ways'.

Now if the "public policy" cannot be discussed, analysed, taken apart or critcised in public then there is no use us lamenting about the state of affairs in India. With ministers talking like this - the secretive, non transparent administrative methods are bound to thrive at all levels from the Presidential Bungalow to the local police station where it took Ruchika and her kin years to file an FIR.

S.M. Krishna should first of all stop behaving as if he is the only man with a balanced mind who can absorb it all and that the rest of his country men are absolute duds who understand nothing and more over create a mess if kept informed.

How long will these pompous ministers keep hoodwinking the public like N. D. Tiwari did till he was 86 ?

Cricket In Your Town. You'r Not Allowed To Watch!

2009-12-27T12:48:00.003+05:30

'Are the tickets already sold out?'
'Well... there are no tickets to be sold.'

'No tickets to be sold? Then who will watch the game?'
'Those who don't (ever) buy tickets.'

Thats the best googly ever bowled by anyone, claiming around 30000 wickets without any tickets.

The Headley History

2009-12-13T23:29:00.002+05:30

Came across this all revealing background of David Headley alias Daood Gilani.

Its surprising to note that while he fought for or helped fundamentalist islam he never shied away from other liberal and capitalist avenues of life which Islam strictly prohibits like drugs,wine, women and partying.

Its a very dangerous world wherein the supposed puritans follow the paths of the so called 'kafirs' without shame and at the same time denounce the rest of the world as 'kafirs'.

India's food Grain Problem Solved !!

2009-12-13T21:18:00.003+05:30

Yes you heard me right. We have been able to give a sustainable solution to our perennial problem of food grain shortage. Whats more , if the strategy works it may even be scaled up to meet the export targets too.

We start from hunger. Thus solving hunger. As simple as that. How ingenuous.

Have a look at this - More Indians are taking to hunger strikes. Thus the current food production will certainly end up being double the demand thus boosting our grain exports.

If you get more states in the bargain, all the more better because as a food sufficiency strategy the hunger campaigners must become successful in getting their own spaces declared as states. Only then can it serve as an incentive to drive more people on the hunger strike path.

But tell me something - If so many people are ready to go hungry, why are we complaining of food shortage in the first place?

Osama's Great Escape

2009-12-13T20:55:00.004+05:30

This document here gives a detailed log of how things unfolded in 2001 resulting in the supposed escape of Osama Bin Laden.

Are they true? Is Osama not dead? Was he not buried on the afghan mountains after the american carpet bombing? Don't ask me.

It has all the charactaristics like the eternal Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose type mystery. The only difference probably being that while Netaji is held in high esteem as a national hero and as one who cared for the people , the other is a dreaded islamic fundementalist who burns down buildings full of people without even blinking, in the name of religion.

"Avatar for Christmas."

2009-12-13T20:29:00.002+05:30

James Cameron presents another one of his Titanic efforts. Supposedly mind boggling in terms of special effects - "Avatar" has mixed reviews with more on the 4 star side than one the 2 star side.

Looking back at Titanic , Avatar should not be disappointing but can't be too sure that recession hasn't affected James Cameron also.

The Tiger Out of The Woods!! Not Yet.

2009-12-09T22:55:00.003+05:30

The Tiger is endangered for sure.

But that just cannot be. The business of sport has invested much in to the Tiger brand. Hence Secret romps and escapades not withstanding "Save Tiger Campaign " may be launched any time now. The brand managers might almost have finalised a smart way of recovery.

Also now that the normally drab and docile tiger has proved that he can not only roar but also romp, the brand becomes more colourful. More people now would be interested in tracking how Tiger finds his (watering) holes.

Now I Start Fantacising !!

2009-11-11T20:03:00.017+05:30

No, I did'nt meet a beautiful girl recently to make me do so.

What Iam fantacising and salivating about, is a reality show. After all only that seems to succeed these days. Yes reality though artificially created seems to succeed.

We like :

Normal people behaving below par; People thought to be decent but talking dirty;
Glamourous people going about in their negligees - as if they might do so privately at home;
Well known people fighting and abusing each other;

That's reality, and that tickles us a lot in a nice way and in all the right places, right ? After all reality TV is all about getting to see what we don't get to see and what we usually fantacise about and want to see. That's the reality.

Back to my fantasy -

A few of the ruling party's cronies and those of the opposition make the basic theme of my reality show. All with their Z-plus security ofcourse.

The other gentlemen that we require will be a few illiterates, literates, corporate honchos and ofcourse a few dons (Dawood can appear on the TV screen as the host probably - direct from Karachi)

When gangsters appear so do item girls. Hence a few of them can be thrown in too. The politicians Iam sure will not object and the opinion of the illiterates don't matter anyhow. The literates and honchos can steal a glance while going through their books.

If you feel like including a free lance killer, Kasab is always there though may be a bit out of practice.

Since parole is freely available some killers and serial killers too can be roped in.

There you are we get the best of all realities - our nation, at the press of a button.

A never ending reality with the highest of TRPs

Vigilant India thwarts another 26/11 errr.....11/11 rather.

2009-11-11T19:08:00.010+05:30

The cyclone Phyan that was to hit Mumbai and Gujarat had become a major security concern for India.

'As always' the administration was very vigilant. Kudos!! Constant warnings being given free of cost, gave many working people expectations of a holiday declaration and finally that came about making them almost delirious with joy.

The cyclone, though not sent by Taliban (they are not in to cyclonic terror yet), had successfully terrorised the people (or were they happy? - I heard someone mentioning that Mumbai is always a happening city, ofcourse like all mumbaiites he said the same from the comforts of his environs and then he also doesn't need to go fishing for his lively hood. For him its certainly a happening city and he goes for jogging only when the coasts are clear. Thats his style of Art of Living).

Then came the icing on the cake. "Phyanji -our cyclone bhaisaab" having successfuly got a halfday holiday declared for the working (toiling, constantly travelling, jostling, sweating, cursing, fighting... etc) class in mumbai, then turned, twisted, yawned and went off to sleep. He peed before going to sleep giving us the drizzle. The strong security measures being adopted probably pissed him off.

That's the great Indian security success story for you. Now we are totally free from any attacks from the sea side.

For my part, the cyclone was like a full toss being bowled without any fielders on the field. So I fed my boss with constant updates on the impending storm and successfully liberated myself by around 3pm.

PHYAN..... ONCE MORE, ONCE MORE.......

Windows 7

2009-10-25T12:40:00.002+05:30

After Windows Vista we get another OS - The Windows 7

Whats good and whats bad about the new windows ? Here are a few useful links :

Get windows 7 ;

A wealth of Info on Windows 7;

A tour of Windows 7.

Brother Denies Rape, Sister claims To Be Designer

2009-10-25T12:27:00.003+05:30

Sanjana Jon is a designer too. Yes Anand Jon's (who is almost condemned to jail for the rest of his life) sister.

Reading this report about her para-jumping on to the ramp with her designer clothes, I could'nt help wonder about the credibility of the Jon family, though I had been sceptical about his conviction till now.

The Austerity gimmick and "Fat Tax"

2009-09-24T23:25:00.002+05:30

Its fun for the politicians to travel by trains, once in a while, austerity or what ever name given to the jaunt. But its a different ball game all togather if they were to burn their fat.

The "fat tax" method if implemented Sharad Pawar may not find it funny to say that he does not fit in to the economy seat and hence is forced to travel business class.

Sunday Mumbai

2009-09-20T23:20:00.008+05:30

Cricketing Mumbai

South Mumbai - Lazy Traffic Free Sunday

Scoring in the Midst Of High Rises

The moving Numbers that Create Wealth

The Oberoi Trident - much after the terrorists struck

Mooing With the Crowd

2009-09-19T12:44:00.014+05:30

When the crowd is mooing you are supposed moo too.

Shashi Tharoor found that out the hard way when he bleated, errmmm... tweeted.

Then the bleating sheep was found to be black too, and hence in all fairness those on the high pedestal (from where probably they have been guarding the dignity of the poor cattle-like people for many decades) all are for shearing its wool.

Its was a total mayhem when a groomed and perfumed (a tad snobbish too?) minister started smelling like shit to his colleagues because he seemed to be taunting their leaders. Sycophants don't like that and smell an opportunity to exhibit their talent at such junctures. Cattle and poor of the country are just a means to the end. As for the poor of this country they would actually grin through a hundred abuses for a 10 rupee note in exchange. So much so for protecting the dignity of the poor.

If one man has got the hang of things right it was M. J. Akbar who aptly pointed out the linguistic disconnect in the episode when he said -

"The first law of democracy is that what you say is less important than what the other person hears."

It is this insensitivity, probably arising out of staying long periods abroad and then rising to be a minister immediately on returning which caused the humorous / in bad taste (depending on who heard it) tweet.

His tweet coming after his unceremonious eviction from the five star accomodation makes it more suspicious as to being a verbal retaliation on the austerity gurus of the government. The raw nerves were further aggravated by his comments being secretly interpreted as an open denounsal of the milk -less udders of the 'austerity measures holy cow'.

Grabbing the opportunity of the journalistic query, if Tharoor was clandestinely tweeting about the hollowness of the current dramatised austerity drive, he probably was true- its all hat without cattle. After all no MP nor minister is going to continue travelling in the economy class or by shatabdi. Once the GDP growth improves from 6.8% to 6.805% they will throw austerity to the winds and will talk business and travel business class. Austerity probably is a synonym for successful assembly elections which incidentally are around the corner. Tharoor and SM Krishna were probably caught in the cross fire of election politics after some deep thinker in the party discovered the importance of recession and austerity in assembly elections. Then comes Shashi trying to puncture the election balloon knowingly or unknowingly with the cows horns. That's blasphemous. Afterall Tharoor was supposed to be the meek sacrificial lamb and not the tweeting black sheep fighting the cow.

What ever the reality, one thing is sure i.e to avoid contracting the 'foot in the tweeting mouth disease' Tharoor may have to bring in all the diplomatic skills he learnt at the UN. That is certainly required of him atleast to keep the self appointed guardians of the dignity of the poor and courtiers of the kingdom of sycophancy out of work.

Grave Truth About Quota!!

2009-09-17T16:52:00.003+05:30

Till death does us apart......., said someone in the throes of love.

But even death has showed its inability to wean away caste from humanity in India.

In bangalore the government decides to extend reservations to the grave yard too.
Death is said to be a great leveller - but thats for the dead.

The living still continue their fighting, over the dead too.

Not a Bounce Back Yet, But Stopped Going Down.

2009-09-16T23:07:00.002+05:30

That's a much needed confirmation coming from Warren Buffet after Bernanke talked about end of the gloom time.

Warren Buffet clearly says - We may have seen the bottom unless something catastrophic happens. But we are yet to see a bounce back.

Thats quite reassuring.

A Testoterone Problem

2009-09-16T17:59:00.007+05:30

The Castor Semenya controversy is getting debated all over the place. The South Africans are rallying behind the allegedly hermaphrodite athlete. The athlete and her family are feeling victimised and humiliated. The world athletic body is deliberating and the general public is confused.

On one side I can ask , "Can't the transgenders be allowed to compete?

On the other side, the other female athletes will feel aggrieved in being sexually challenged in a hermaphrodite athletic sort of way.

So what to do? Add another transgender event?

Semenya herself says - "I see it all as a joke, it doesn't upset me. God made me the way I am and I accept myself."

What ever the outcome, the differential testoterone level is creating a lot of head aches across te athletic kingdom.

There is no such confusion in the animal kingdom. Tuscan Abbe was found to be a hermahrodite too, internal testes and all. She is barred from participating in all mares and fillies championships since carrying testes (internal or external) is quite un-lady like.

Tuscan Abbe shook her mane, not in protest but out of habit and went back to munching the green grass. Afterall unlike Semenya the medal goes to the jockey and Tuscan gets only her grass.

You Could Be Jailed For Owning A Share!!

2009-09-16T15:27:00.003+05:30

Now don't panic and start selling off all your shares. The markets may come down and I might be branded a market manipulator.

This is going to be a law in Russia actually. This news item in moscow times says that the executives and share holders of companies will be held liable and punished suitably for unpaid wages. The clause about share holder being a limited liability partner may be ignored. One has to be careful in buying even one share of any company and should be venturing out only after ascertaining the levels of unpaid wages. The moment one gets wind of any unpaid wages everything should be sold - lock stock and barrel. Afterall while your shares might be running huge profits in your portfolio you might be cooling your heels in Siberia.

I wonder what treatment will be given to sacked employees accounting? - salaries that should have been paid but instead employee sacked and hence share holders to be jailed? Again what if the executive's salaries are not paid? Who should be jailed? The employees?

Now I know why share holders/promoters interest are closely linked to that of the employees. Infact all are togather in a big mess with the introduction of this great accounting principle.

Honey, I Started Playing Cricket !

2009-09-16T12:51:00.003+05:30

Latest of the entrants is Gujarat CM, Narendra Modi.

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The Gujarat chief minister is the latest in the long list of politicians who, after taking a fancy towards the game, have tried their hands, often successfully, at running its administration. Union agriculture minister and NCP supremo is ICC chairman-designate, while Rajya Sabha Opposition leader Arun Jaitley is the president of the Delhi and District Cricket Association. Congress Rajya Sabha member Rajiv Shukla is the vice-president of BCCI, while union heavy industries and public enterprises minister Vilasrao Deshmukh was only recently elected vice-president of the Maharashtra Cricket Association. BJP MP from Hamirpur, Mr Anurag Thakur lords over the affairs of the Himachal Pradesh Cricket Association. Another political heavyweight, Union non-conventional energy minister Farooq Abdullah heads the Jammu and Kashmir Cricket Association. RJD chief and former Union minister Lalu Prasad too turned into a cricket buff, but his efforts to control the Bihar Cricket Association have ended in a legal tangle.
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Whats luring them? The glamour? The money? The free publicity?
One thing is certain its not for the cause of cricket.

The nexus between cricket and politics probably started with a few cricketers contesting the elections. After that the politicians decided to invade the pitch. Now that the politicians have found out the good length spot on the pitch, they started pitching in thick and fast. The pitch will shortly be dug up to suit the people at the helm. Once that is done, you can watch more cricket on the side lines than on the pitch and with so many politicians thronging the corridors of cricket, Iam sure that we may see more of unparliamentary behaviour in cricket than before.

All That Glitters IS Not Gold !

2009-09-15T23:16:00.003+05:30

While trawling through the net for something to write about (since my blogging rate has gone down in the past few weeks I was sort of desperate too, somewhat like wanting to pee but not having enough pee with me )

Thats when I stumbled upon this complaint box thing.

Barclays & Lloyds, the two celebrated banks in UK (world wide too), inspite of the recession are receiving copious quantities of complaints and sorting them out too. Barclays recived about 45 complaints per day and Lloyds around 32.

How do you think the Indian banks are faring? Obviously the new tech savvy private sector banks will have far lesser complaints than those old public sector banks who are just there to employ those unemployable people. The Public sector banks deserve that, since they are alien to that glitzy service of their newer counterparts in the private sector.

"But my dear Watson, you are completely mistaken". I said this to myself when I went through this banking ombudsman report.

Look closely at the situation in India :

Private sector banks had around 12 times and foreign banks around 6 times more complaints than the nationalised banks in 2007-2008.
The private & foreign banks put togather made up around 93% of the complaints received.
But the complaints that reached the ombudsman were lesser at private sector banks indicating higher resolution at bank level.
If comparisons are made as a proportion of the business handled by the nationalised banks and private sector banks and the complaints received by them, the nationalised banks are far far superior. Where as the nationalised banks received only around 4 complaints for every million rupee of deposit and loans, for the private sector banks it was 14 complaits for every million rupee of loans and 20 for deposits.

As someone rightly said - "More glitzy also means more risk too". Government banks though dusty and unwelcoming, may not be that bad afterall.

Indians Prove it Once Again !

2009-09-12T23:53:00.002+05:30

We once again proved that we could never be the best. In anything.
Thanks to the cricketers, we could pacify the stunned world albeit after a delay of 24 hours.

We just cannot be the best in anything. Then how come in cricket? Even with all the money and fan following etc. If there was ever 2 great cricket teams in the world they were the West Indies in the late 70's - early 80's period during the Roberts, holding , garner, Lloyd, Richards era and then the Australians from the Steve Waugh time to the initial period of Ricky Ponting.

Indians are no where near to that. They may be individually brilliant, at least a few of them. But as a team we are as far away from the best in the world as the Indian hockey team is away from the the hockey world champions.

How Much Do I work For Myself

2009-09-12T23:29:00.002+05:30

Idle mind is a devil's play ground.
Having nothing much to do made me think up something and thus wasting your as well as my time.

So here is what I thought up:

I work for 6 days a week.

1) I pay 30% tax. Hence 1/3 of my working days is eaten up by the government. Meaning I
dont work for myself but for the government.

So that makes it 6-2 = 4 days work for myself.

2) But no. I have leveraged i.e I have availed a housing loan and a vehicle loan (the legitimate dreams of an Indian middle class constituent). Both togather amounting to 5 times my annual pay. I pay 10% tax on both of them.

Hence 5 multiplied by weekly working days = 30 days.
10% of that means 3 days. These 3 days I work for the bank from whom I took loan.

3) So in total 2 days for tax + 3 days for loan = 5 working days for others.

So , just one day working for myself ? That's pathetic.

A 'V' and a 'W' and Now a 'Square Root' !!

2009-09-08T22:18:00.005+05:30

As the "green shoots" of the economic recovery supposedly became visible, the guessing game on the shape of things to come hottened up.

Some said it will be a 'V' - shaped recovery.
Some proffered a 'W' shaped one.
Some others say a double dip recession is in the offing after the initial euphoria.

Now a new theory has come in. Liz Ann Sonders says , its more likely be a 'Square Root shaped one. That sounds quite plausible.

High Profile Political Deaths in India

2009-09-05T21:51:00.004+05:30

YSR's death is being discussed and covered like that of a national leader. The media now a days is very successful in creating a high class suspense thriller out of a terrorist attack or a politicians death. People love to watch the high octane drama, even though later on they may criticise the same.

But we are not here to look at the functioning of the media.

I made list a of the premature & untimely deaths among the Indian political leadership. The scales are tipped heavily on the side of congress.

The list :

Congress : Indira Gandhi & Rajiv Gandhi (Assassinations); Rajesh Pilot, Dr. Shrikant Jichkar (Road accidents); Madhav Rao Scindia, O.P Jindal & YSR (Air crash).

BJP's share has not been alarmingly high in Pramod Mahajan (Shot) & Sahib Singh Verma (Road accident).

The scales seem to be clearly tipping in the side of the congress.

Is it because they are the major political party and in power mostly and hence its leaders were targets of assassination attempts and that they get to travel by choppers and chartered flights?

Or is it because of some mysterious orchestration by destiny?

CEO - Encoffination Pvt. Ltd !

2009-09-04T22:49:00.003+05:30

Yes you heard it right- "encoffination" as in - 'putting the dead body in a coffin'

In Japan its a package deal to cleanse and prepare the dead body, conduct or help in the wake and then complete the subsequent cremation. The company offers the complete package deal or individual deals for a particular part only.

It can also be pre-booked for one's own funeral too. Relatives are just left with conveying the death intimation. Rest will be taken care of by the company. Neighbours and relatives need not swoop down and take over in the grief ridden absence of the family members. Everything is arranged professionally.

I also never knew that an oscar winning film was made on this kind of a company official ("Departures").

Also notice the similarities in the post creamtion procedures of the Buddhist Japanese and the Hindu system. The "urn"; "Bone collection"etc. Surprising is'nt it?.

The Neat Dirty Bra !

2009-09-03T23:47:00.003+05:30

Honestly It has not crossed my mind whether - 'does my partner change her bra everyday'?

I wear a new vest every day when ever I wear one. But it never occurred to me to check on the female side of things. I probably took it for granted or just never really thought about it.

From what I read here I gather that the female side of the story is always more intriguing than the male side.

Is it so with Indian females too? I dont know
A great Indian dirty bra poll may need to be done.

YSR

2009-09-03T23:09:00.004+05:30

Inspite of reading widely I go blind many a times. That's why after the galmourous tech savvy Chandra Babu Naidoo left the political helm in Andhra, I turned blind towards the Andhra Pradesh politics. Till recently I did not know that YSR was from congress (not that it mattered).
My ignorance made him unpopular to me.

On the 2nd of September 2009 afternoon during a friendly chat with someone from Andhra , it was, that I learnt about the dissappearance of the state's chief minister. Since then things have changed a lot.

I was glued to the media, trying to keep track of the search operation updates. That's how I came to know a lot more about the person that YSR was. Now I see why he upstaged Chandra Babu Naidoo. He was popular - a people's man.

Its a bit late in the day for me to know about him. But I still can live with that. But he does not.

Its sad that a state loses its chief minister in this fashion.
Its sad that his family loses his presence in such a way.
Its sad that another 4 families and the loved ones lose their lifelines.

The fault may lie with anyone (or everyone) from the dead chief minister himself to the DGCA, the pilots or the technicians who maintained the helicopter. But its extremely unfortunate that 5 men die of something that was clearly preventable.

She Went To Venus and Then Aliens!

2009-09-03T22:34:00.005+05:30

His wife has been to Venus- she insists.
She went in a triangular shaped UFO and found the planet to be very green.
She knew Tom Cruise in her previous incarnation and would'nt hesitate to remind him if she met him.
She also claims to have been abducted by aliens once.

He says - " The average man chooses his mate from among unmarried women. I chose mine from among all women."

Thus he married a 'married-woman' and probably instigated a divorce.

Both make a good pair.

He is the Japanese Prime Minister elect and she - his wife.

Japan inspite of being othodox allows freedom of expression I guess, unlike our rich culture which mostly is aimed at throttling freedom through a false sense of propriety.

Why We Need More Women!

2009-08-27T15:40:00.007+05:30

No, we are not talking about any kind of Polygamy here. Also we are not debating about the gender eqality. In fact we are emphasising that the two genders are different and how they can complement each other.

In the current era we hear all round cries for more representation for the fairer sex on every forum (with nothing happening in reality). We see the women's reservation bill hanging in suspence for quite a long while for the lack of political will and consensus. We listen to doubts on the wisdom of reservation for women - can the ladies perform or will they remain the same puppets in the hands of the men who decide (Like a Rabri Devi for a Lallu Yadav) ?

While we deliberate on the political representation of women, have a look at what Kate sweetman writes, indicating the benefits of bringing more women up (atleast) the corporate ladder.

Though our corporate leadership is successful in providing equal opprotunities than our political leadership, they too can think in terms of minimum reservations for the fairer sex, if not for the women's sake then for the corporate's benefit.

A Bank Gets In To Your Pants !

2009-08-27T15:01:00.005+05:30

HT reports about a bank getting in to financing your jeans purchase.

After all if a man can't pay for his pants, he deserves to be caught pants down. So no defaults on that count, i guess, lest his jeans gets seized.

Indian Curry for 1.5 lacs

2009-08-27T14:31:00.003+05:30

Vir Sanghvi writes about one of the most outrageously expensive Indian Curries ever cooked.

Just imagine, you can buy almost 100 grams of gold with that kind of money in India.

Its something like - if you want to be on the front pages then why not try dacoity?

6 Foot 5 and Still Winning

2009-08-24T00:14:00.002+05:30

Height is an advantage - no not always.

Thats what Edward McClelland writes about. Inspite of his probably disadvantageous height,Usain Bolt has re-written history.

An interesting read.

Something For Shiney!

2009-08-23T23:23:00.003+05:30

Now a days, there is a test for anything. From IQ to Swine Flu.
A swab here or there can pinpoint a rape or a swine flu.

Such a swab test caught our man Shiney Ahuja. No he did'nt catch the flu, that would have been much better.

But can we classify him a sex maniac on the basis of this crime? Or was it an accident? (that does'nt make the crime any lesser though.)

So when I came across this on the net, thought the actor.....er.....ex actor might as well test his inclinations using this Sex Addiction test.

By the way never knew, till now, such tests existed.
I tested negative.

A Shoe For Every Millipede Leg

2009-08-23T23:00:00.006+05:30

Here is some one who has (of all the fetishes) a shoe fetish.

10,000 pairs of foot wear. Assuming that a pair may occupy one square foot of space, it takes 10,000 sq. feet of space to store them if placed side by side. The average apartment size in Mumbai is around 700 sq. feet or so? Your friendly neighbourhood bata store may not have so many pairs.

One other person who had such a fetish (she had others too) was Imelda Marcos wife of deposed Philippines president Ferdinand Marcos.

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After the Marcos family fled Malacanang Palace , Mrs. Imelda Marcos was found to have left behind 15 mink coats, 508 gowns, 888 handbags and 1060 pairs of shoes.
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There was a huge furore then over the number of slippers. But it pales in comparison to this 10,000 pairs.

Blogging Tips From Blog Gurus

2009-08-23T20:15:00.005+05:30

Its tough going guys, being a blogger.

Not that you want your blog to be the best, but then you also want others to read your blog, right? Though you certainly derive satisfaction from writing , you would want someone to read that and comment on it, don't you?

Take my case for example. I learnt about blogging 3 years back. Got started then. Never publicised it and posted almost like twice in a year or so. Recently the blogging bug got to me. So here I am, pouncing on almost everything, and writing a blog about it.

I am sure many are there like me out there (Of the 11 crore i.e 110 million bloggers the world over and the millions getting ready to start). For all of them here is some help.

Look at guys like Amit Agarwal, an IIT alumnus who have taken up full time blogging along with being a technological columnist. He is now among the top 200 bloggers in the world and has around 2.5 million page views a month. Another one, Amit Verma, after being in the cricinfo.com, now blogs full time and has taken up writing as a career.

You can also have a look at some of the best Indian blogs and decide for yourself, what you would like to write and how. There are thousands of others whom you will come across while u keep blogging. All the info should help you.

Though its tough trying to be the best among bloggers, I guess its even greater fun just trying to be so. It can also help many others by getting them the information that they want, all the while enriching your own experience and knowledge about this world.

BEES SAAL BAAD!

2009-08-23T18:54:00.006+05:30

Life is strange and some deaths are even stranger.

Syed Modi was murdered in 1988.

Why would someone want to murder a badminton champion? Obviously not his badminton rival. Its not settled in sports that way. Also there was not enough money in badminton at that time (Is'nt it the case even now?). Atleast not enough money to motivate a murder. But it happened.

Murders happen based on mostly business/ money rivalry; fight for women; and family/community/caste honour. Right?

Money being out of question here, an entire ocean of suspects can be excluded. Could it have been for a woman? The murdered man's wife marries a UP politician two years after the murder. As soon as he is acquitted by the courts. They live happily ever after. So it could have been for her - a point blank love.

From 1988 - 2009 , one by one most of the accused are liberated by the courts. Only one contract killer gets a lifer at last. The scape goat? or the contract convict? I dont know . But its strange that the contract killer should decide to make a murder on his own and he didn't get the dead man's wife. Some one else did. But that was incidental, atleast it is made to appear so.

Since he is the only one to be convicted we should assume that he made out a contract to himself to eliminate someone. Very bad guy.

The honourable courts are right, but then its a bit strange that after 20 years of struggle we find no motive for the crime. Scotland yard says - any murderer how so ever well planned or meticulous makes on an average 39 mistakes to which the police and courts can latch on to.

But we failed to even find the motive. In the motive lies the criminal. Hence we failed in the first step itself. Hence we failed to find the motive itself, lest we may arrive at the criminal himself.

So we have now set a new precedent in the criminology books, so that scotland yard and others may update themselves.

We have donated an unmotivated high profile crime for the records.

Minister With The Foot-In-The-Mouth Disease

2009-08-21T22:25:00.006+05:30

After a lull he takes off again.

This time its his foul language. Ghulam Nabi Azad used some unparliamentary words in his swine flu induced delirium. He accuses the "bloody" state health departments of complacency amounting to culpable negligence whereas the central health ministry has supposedly stopped sleeping ever since the swine-flu hit India.

Bravo sir! Bravo! How committed you and your officials are. India is indeed lucky.

If someone tells you that you and your bloody officials kept on sleeping or was caught napping while the H1N1 entered due to improper screening at airport and other entry points, Iam sure you would be happy that such a mistake was pointed out and in such a stern language.

But I like it anyhow because as far as the public is concerned. It doesn't really matter whether its the central ministry or the state ministry that gets abused as long as things get done.

Jokes apart, Iam sure we may soon hear the minister again with both the foot in his mouth.

And if he sustains his tempo, he may not have miles to go before he sleeps and falls from his chair.

More about Jinnah.....

2009-08-19T23:41:00.005+05:30

From Tarun Vijay's blog -Indus Calling- in the TOI, I get to know more about Jinnah :

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"Muhammad Ali Jinnah , aristocrat by temperament, catholic in taste, sectarian in politics, and the father of Pakistan, was the unlikeliest parent that an Islamic republic could possibly have. He was the most British of the generation of Indians that won freedom in August 1947.

As a child in the elite Christian Mission High School in Karachi, he changed his birthday from 20 October to Christmas Day. As a student at Lincoln's Inn, he anglicised his name from Jinnahbhai to Jinnah.

For three years, between 1930 and 1933, he went into voluntary exile in Hampstead, acquired a British passport, set up residence with his sister Fatimah and daughter Dina, hired a British chauffeur (Bradley) for his Bentley, kept two dogs (a black Dobermann and a white West Highland terrier), indulged himself at the theatre (he had once wanted to be a professional actor so that he could play Hamlet) and appeared before the Privy Council to maintain himself in the style to which he was accustomed. He wore Savile Row suits, heavily starched shirts and two-tone leather or suede shoes……

Despite being the Quaid-e-Azam, or the Great Leader of Muslims, he drank a moderate amount of alcohol and was embarrassingly unfamiliar with Islamic methods of prayer. He was uncomfortable in any language but English, and made his demand for Pakistan — in 1940 at Lahore — in English, despite catcalls from an audience that wanted to hear Urdu.”
----------------------------------------------------

Not bad at all for a man supposed to be a purist islamist who was deeply worried about the fate of Mussalmans.

What actually might he have been worried about? Equal rights for all OR the biggest stature and seat for himself ?

Mohammed Ali Jinnah and More

2009-08-19T12:54:00.011+05:30

One of the leaders of India's right wing party tries to glorify Mohammed Ali Jinnah, the architrect of Pakistan. Jinnah is given a clean chit and infact is projected as having tried to prevent partition and failed in the same because the other leaders like Jawaharlal Nehru and Sardar patel would'nt accomodate the demands of a better status for the muslims in India.

These are the revelations supposedly in former foreign minister Jaswant Singh's book (recently published) - and he has been expelled from the BJP for that.

It seemed worthwhile to me, just to check on this personality of Mohammed Ali Jinnah and some connected happenings.

Jinnah's Official Life
Born probably on Dec 25 1876 (Christhmas day) in Karachi. Belonged to Khoja Muslims (Sindhi merchants converted to Islam by Persians). Studied law in England from age 16 to 20yrs. There after practiced in Mumbai. Worked with Gopala Krishna Gokhale (moderate faction of INC). Got disgruntled with Gandhiji's leadership and also the then muslim league leadership. Went back to England to practice law in 1931.

Some other milestones :
1910-1919 - In the Viceroy's legislative council
1916 - For the first time, in the 'Lucknow pact' demanded separate communal electorate for muslims.
1934 - Was persuaded to come back to India. Revitalises Muslim League. Unlike an outgoing leader he was "formal, fastidious aloof and imperious" as some of his followers put it.
1937 - Due to differerences with INC starts working for Pakistan nation.
1942- Muslim League's Lucknow conference passes resolution for Pakistan
1947- Pakistan formation.
Till death in 1948 Pakistan's first governor general and was titled Quaid-e-Azam (Supreme Leader)

Jinnah's Personal Life - A life of Separations

His first wife, a child bride, died when he was a student.

The second wife was Ruttie Jinnah, nee Rattan Bai Petit.

She was the daughter of Sir Dinshaw Maneckjee Petit, one of the richest and most devoutly orthodox Parsi-Zoroastrians of the nineteenth century Bombay. Ruttie converted to Islam on her 18th birthday and left her father's mansion with two pets to marry Jinnah. Exactly eleven years later she was dead of an overdose of painkillers to treat her abdominal cancer. Jinnah never married again and died a lonely man. Known as the nightingale of Bombay, Ruttie died on her 29th birthday on 20 February 1929. Rattanbai bore Jinnah his only child, daughter Dina, on the midnight of August 14, 1919. Exactly 28 years before Pakistan's Independence.

Ruttie died at the age of 29. When Pakistan became independent Jinnah's daughter Dina was 28 and she preferred to remain in India.She went to Karachi only for Jinnah's funeral.

Jinnah's relationship with his daughter was marred by the fact that Dina wanted to marry a Parsi, Neville Wadia. Jinnah tried to dissuade her, just like Sir Dinshaw had tried to influence his daughter (Ruttee) many years ago, but to no avail.

Justice Chagla (who Jinnah had invited to join him and settle in Pakistan as the Law Minister) recalls, "Jinnah, in his usual imperious manner, told her that there were millions of Muslim boys in India, and she could have anyone she chose.

Then the young lady replied: 'Father, there were millions of Muslim girls in India. Why did you not marry one of them'?" The relationship became formal after she married. They did correspond, he addressed her formally as 'Mrs Wadia'.

(Dina wadia married Neville wadia. Their son is Nusli wadia. Nusli's & Maureen wadia's sons are Ness & Jeh Wadia. Ness wadia of IPL and Preity Zinta fame and Jeh Wadia of Go-Air)

The only person from his family who accompanied him to Pakistan was his sister Fatima.

Jinnah Built his - Jinnah house (originally called "South Court")- on the Malabar Hill in Mumbai, in 1936 after returning from England. He spent Rs. 2.0 lacs then for the 10000 sq.mtrs i.e 2.5 acres property. Supervised its construction brick by brick. Italian stone masons were brought from Italy for the marble work. Jinnah House is worth more than Rs.300 crores now.
(No wonder Dina Wadia is legally making a fight for the property now, though she got estranged from her father when he was alive)

Ironically the round of talks, between Nehru and Jinnah, that altered the course of history and led to partition, was held in this building on the 15th of August 1946. The talks failed.

There after India and Pakistan separated.

Jinnah then led a separate life in Pakistan, from his prized possession in Mumbai, as was the case with many of his prized possessions.

Separation was always on his mind. So did he reap.

Astrological Notes

2009-08-18T23:40:00.006+05:30

Some major planetary movements that are to take place this year are as below:

Saturn on September 9 - from Leo to Virgo - Natives of Rasis (Lagna Chart ignored here) Gemini, Acquarius and Sagittarius will go through the " Kantaka Sani". Natives of Rasis, Leo, Virgo and Libra will undergo the Sade-Saath Sani.

Rahu (Hence Ketu too) - Rahu will move from Capricorn to Sagittarius and Ketu from Cancer to gemini on the 17th of November. The natives of the different Rasis shall face the difficulties (or finish their difficult periods accordingly). e.g: natives of sagittarius Rasi may have a troubled family life where as natives of Virgo rasi may have troubles at work place.

Jupiter - Moves from Capricorn to Acquarius on the 19th of December. Jupiter moving away from its debilitated position in Capricorn should do good to some atleast.

Mars - The mars remains in cancer (debilitation) from October 5th to May 26 , 2010. This will do a lot of bad effects for some atleast.

(All elaborations above are based only on Rasi Charts and Lagna charts are not referred to at all)

Sterilise and Rule !

2009-08-16T22:40:00.005+05:30

It was divide and rule mainly.
Then the British also tried - Sterilise and Rule.
That's how the British and Queen Victoria allegedly tried to bring the Rajasthan Royals to an end.

Read this link from TOI :
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Queen-asked-Ranjit-Singhs-wife-to-end-dynasty-Book/articleshow/4899311.cms

But that's ok with some people. But, what if the Royal foraged among some others than his wife and then produced some results? The British might have banked on the fact that the illegitimates won't be getting the same public backing as the legitimates.

But then would'nt the assassination of the Royal himself, have been a better plan for the British rather than lurking around the Royals bedroom and attempting family planning ?

A frisking Fiasco Yet Again

2009-08-15T23:44:00.006+05:30

Its Sharukh Khan this time around.

Shame on us ,really.

What do we expect? :-

That we be allowed to pass through any place through the green or VIP channel?

That crowds buzz around us everywhere, as in Bandra, and then we shake our heads as if exasperated at being a celebrity, while secretly enjoying the same.

That no man consider his duty above our celebrity status?

That others are to take us for granted that like some of the MLA's and MPs and other big guns caught in the Human Traficking scandal - no S.R.Khan or any other man will ever be caught again.

That if Sharukh Khan decides to reduce the frequency of his visits to the US, the US as a country will wind up and hence they will start diluting their securuty checks.

That we expect the US and all others to take a defensive posture the moment we accuse them of discriminating others on religious grounds. Hence we take it as a first line of offence when pushed in to a corner.

That even though there are islamic terrorists all around, no country has any right to check on anyone since that amounts to suspecting everyone as islamic terrorsts.

In short we expect all others to follow the rule book as we do - i.e in a shamelessly lawless way.

We never had a rule book for ourselves.
Rules never applied to us.
It only applied to our neighbour or others when we wanted to suffocate them, when we wanted to impose ourselves on them.

Then our victims too lost faith in the rules.
Thus we all became lawless.

Now we believe that the histories of other countries too are similar to ours.
So it gives a jarring effect when others follow the rules, unlike us.

The SRKs and others in this part of the world, instead of visiting countries like US should stay there for longer periods to cure themselves of this "celebrity-flu".

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/My-name-is-Khan-Too-bad-SRK-feels-the-heat-of-American-paranoia/articleshow/4897426.cms

Disregard to the Anthem on the 15th?

2009-08-15T20:19:00.005+05:30

Looked strange to me.

There was the national anthem playing in the background. People (spectators and other officials) in the stadium could be seen standing, including some foreigners too.

But the anchor on the Doordarshan Sports and Aparna Popat (if Iam not mistaken) were seen seated and what's more they were carrying on with their expert chatter, with the national anthem as their background music. The anchor even appeared to be irritated by the national anthem being played in the background. This happened around 1.50 pm, today, during the live telecast of the world badminton championships being held at the Gatchibowli stadium , Hyderabad.

Now I do not know whether the anchor and Aparna Popat were seated in the stadium, the studio or somewhere else.

Was anthem audible to them? It appeared to be so.

Did'nt they know what to do on hearing the national anthem?
Were they so callous enough to disregard our national anthem or was it plain negligence?
That too on the government owned channel?
That too on our Independence day.

I hope I saw things wrongly.
But I am all for finding out what actually happened.
People can make mistakes. But the issue should be sorted out so that some others don't commit such blunders again.That too on the National Television.

Going A Bit Green In The Head

2009-08-13T17:23:00.006+05:30

First of all I never thought that my buying a car will endanger this world.

When I had to buy a car,I had to.

Power windows, power steering, keyless entry, spaciousness, adjustable steering, collapsible seats, etc etc, whether these mattered or not, were discussed.

Carbon-dioxide and his brother 'monoxide were never mentioned, neither by the salesman nor by me. Then we haggled about the discount and tried to outsmart each other openly.

Regarding emission standards of the vehicle,I always thought it as - Euro III as more car for the same money as compared to Euro II. If it was Euro IV compliant- a still better bargain for me. It was as if I was getting the latest gadget.

Environment figured nowhere in my head.

But then this article on the "Cash for Clunkers" scheme in the US makes me think about how deeply, green-conscious, people are. (Cash for clunkers is a scheme which encourages the car owners to discard their old cars and avail hefty discounts on buying new ones)

On the basis of a better fuel effeciency, it seems it takes on an average of 5 years for the new cars to sort of break even with the higher emission caused during the production of the new cars. Since the average american uses a car for around 10 years (and I thought americans just threw their cars away after a months use) the positive effects for the environment are not much.

-----------------------------------------------------
"Was spending $1 billion a particularly cost-effective way to achieve those CO2 reductions? Probably not. Assuming the above calculations are correct and that each consumer keeps his or her car for 10 years, then the total savings should be a little less than 5.7 million tons of carbon dioxide. That means each ton of carbon dioxide would be worth about $175.53 to the U.S. government. As the Washington Policy Center pointed out, a ton of CO2 currently goes for about $17.50 on the European Climate Exchange."
----------------------------------------------------

And finally in the process of writing this, I discover how rich India is.
With CO2 at, $17.50 a tonne, India certainly is a rich country.

http://www.slate.com/id/2224306/

How much will it cost to shoo...A Judge?

2009-08-13T16:50:00.005+05:30

Just Rs.200/-.

Or if you can't pay that, then free food and accomodation for a month at a jail of 'their' choice.

I really thought that was a graver offence.

Though a murderous intent is not there in a shoe throwing episode, the judges don't come so cheap, do they?

After all can anyone throw a shoe anywhere (even outside the courts) on a judge at a cost of Rs.200/-?

Look at what happened at a court in Mumbai from the link below.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/city/mumbai/Accused-hurls-slipper-at-magistrate/articleshow/4887626.cms

A free Kick !!

2009-08-13T15:19:00.006+05:30

A 25 Crore freek kick at that.

The BCCI has decided to help out its impoverished cousin, AIFF, with 25 crore from its coffers.
The goal? Is to find a few goals in the 2011 Asian games.

If poverty has been the constraint, then with this,we have started moving towards providing the foodballers with some pizzas instead of vada-pavs.

It remains to be seen whether they will find their goals or if the 25 Cr will vanish in to their own goal post.

---------------------------------------------------------
"With little funds coming from corporate houses for the 'Goal 2011 Project', AIFF acting president Praful Patel was seeking help of his party chief Sharad Pawar to get financial assistance."
---------------------------------------------------------

And who says that sportsmen should head sports bodies?
Iam all for the ministers heading them.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/cricket/top-stories/BCCI-approves-Rs-25-crore-grant-to-AIFF/articleshow/4889522.cms

Weather God v/s Indian Weather men

2009-08-13T00:33:00.006+05:30

Peter Webster, a professor at the School of Earth and Atmospheric Sciences at Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta, says:
"The basic problem of the Indian Meteorological Department is that they are mired in the past" .

Mr. Hatwar, of IMD, defends his model, noting that it has accurately gauged the country's average rainfall for most years.

In 2002, 2003, 2004 & 2005 the IMD predicted a near normal rainfall . In '03 and '05 it matched with what actually happened. In '02 and '04 we had drought.

In '06 and '07 , below normal rainfall were predicted and we had near normal and normal. Mumbai got flooded too. in '08 the prediction and actuality merged at near normal. But '09 seems to be way off the mark.

The weatherman's job is not easy. But he may have to devise better methods and models for predictions. With 60 crore farming families, to say the least, looking upto him, he cannot leave anything unturned.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125002552576623777.html

One DJ Gets Magsasay

2009-08-12T23:55:00.006+05:30

An engineer who reached MIT.
A couple of years there and he's back in India to work for the "poor India".

He helped uplift about 1,00,000 families.
His NGO PRADAN is associated with projects in about 5 Indian states all among the poorest of the poor.PRADAN works with around 1,70,000 families and adds around 20,000 to 30,000 families every year.

Poverty, for him means- "at one level it is the inability to feed your children and yourself, at another level it's the fact that you don't count, you don't have a voice, you can't influence anything."

His pancea for food security and empowerment of the poor and unskilled is - Proper management of Rain-fed agriculture by better rain water harvesting.

He says " Work is work, nothing high or low brow- it became a habit for me"

That's Deep Joshi for you - the recipient of Magsaysay award this year.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124990333366219177.html

Some Marriage Ads.

2009-08-12T17:34:00.006+05:30

(Some of the details in the ads ( from an internet site), given below, have been doctored to protect the identities, the essence alone is bottled for you)
--------------------------------------------
1) Suiteable Match for Teentotler M.A, B.Ed, Manglik, Girl
(teen..... toon....probably she got confused between teens and the toddlers)
--------------------------------------------
2)Hi, i am 49 years old 6' ht. fair, in govt. job,in search of a friend cum life partnerblind, Deaf & dumb, over weight or can not become a mother or alone for any reason please welcome / contact me ........if conning, lair, riggid, after property& comfort only, quarralsome,selfish please exuse me .........
(Now whats riggid? The fellow got too eloquent towards the end)
--------------------------------------------
3)The matrimonial AD For somu
SM4PbBr HBoy 39 5'9" M.Sc Math,MCA,Mphil wkg MNC S/W Engr 4.50LPA wkg Girl DLI- NCR Area.
(Now Somu surely had a stint with the telegraph department)
-------------------------------------------
4)Wanted grooms for my cuisine brother in Tanjavur dist
(Is the brother a sister wanting a groom? or is he gay? Any way what has the cuisine got do with either of them? Is that why they say not to speak (err.... place an ad.) while eating?
-------------------------------------------
5)Looking for wife
I am a boy .28 years .i need wonderful one wife. my one month salari 120000
(Very Clear - one month, one salary and one wife)
-------------------------------------------
6)I am looking for someone serious to share my time with that enjoys doing the things I do and can introduce me to new things as well. Someone that will take an interest in getting to know me and not be afraid to show me what they're all about in return. I am pretty silly at times, so someone with a sense of humor and great appreciation for just living life is important. I am very selective of those I allow into my life and I only like to surround myself with real and genuine people who can let loose and have a good time.

(what does he want actually? Iam sure he inserted this ad. while in one of his "Pretty silly times")

Mil-'Kingg' The Reality

2009-08-12T14:40:00.004+05:30

The thread is still running.

Rakhi & her newfound 'would be' (or 'may be' or 'should he?' rather) play parents on another reality show.
--------------------------------------------------------
After Rakhi ka Swayamvar comes Pati, Patni Aur Woh, where television’s ‘it’ couple Rakhi Sawant and Elesh Parujanwala will take on the task of bringing up kids
--------------------------------------------------------
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/tv-/Baby-paws-Rakhi-in-public/articleshow/4878586.cms

Now Iam not blaming them for doing this show, since in reality it's all about money.
But then should the babies be subjected to it? There is nothing in it, at all, for them.
After all they dont get any pleasure out of pawing at cleavages. They are just eyeing the milk route and I dont know if they will get it.

Also I dont know if Elesh will get to paw at anything at all or whether he will get mauled instead.

Unhealthy Minister

2009-08-11T23:32:00.003+05:30

After the Television - contraceptive, our health minister comes back with a bang. This time saying that the dead child in Pune (Reeda) was responsible for spreading the virus to around 80 people.

Though he quickly retracted the statement and apologised to the family - it showed the insensitivity of the minister

And then he follows it up with another gem when he said - around 33% of the Indian population are likely to contract the flu by 2011 and many more deaths are likely to happen.

He means :-
1) Another 30 odd crores will surely be infected.
2) The flu is likley to remain for another 2 years atleast.

Even if these are true, I cannot fathom the minister's wisdom in scaring the people.

Then he says - "People should not PANIC"

Ram Gopal Varma may have failed in scaring the film going public with his film "Agyaat".
Our health minister here scares the whole nation with his foot-in-the-mouth comments.

Not Air Pockets, But Pockets Full

2009-08-11T14:50:00.003+05:30

In these times of pronounced wails from the airline industry, its quite heartening to note that atleast one is flying without hitting air pockets.

Indigo air not only is making profit but steadily increasing its market share all the while sticking to its no frills model.

The link gives an idea about how some perform in difficult conditions too.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/32/20090810/1056/tnl-head-above-the-clouds.html

While every now and then the promoters of Jet Airways and KingFisher occupy the front pages of our news papers for reasons ranging from retrenchment to threats of strike followed by heavy sobs, Indigo people are not visible.

--------------------------------------------------------
"The airline management declined to meet HT. Gangwal did not respond to emailed queries. CEO Aditya Ghosh, too, refused comments."

"And Bhatia said over phone, "We don't run our business through newspapers. I don't want to say anything."
-------------------------------------------------------

Thats how they function. Quietly but efficiently. Especially the wails and threat to corner the Government pie being significantly absent.

The reasons for success may be many, including not making costly aquisitions (like King Fisher and Jet did). But most of all their one minded devotion in running the show efficiently with less of hype may have been the most important one.

Tiger Roars For His Opponent - Fined

2009-08-11T12:27:00.007+05:30

I've heard about sportsmen arguing with the referees.
I've seen them complaining about the poor officiating of the match.
But almost always, such complaints are when the complainant is part of the losing delegation.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/golf/top-stories/Woods-to-be-fined-for-criticism-of-rules-official/articleshow/4879814.cms

But now, Tiger woods shows us what a true proffessional is.
Though he was on the winning side , he faulted the officials for the sake of the sport.

He faulted them for putting his opponent to discomfiture and argued that his opposition would have performed better and probably won had there been no time pressure.

Though I know about golf as much as I know about space shuttles, nothing prevents me from appreciating the born sportsman that Tiger Woods is.

How Many More?

2009-08-10T23:17:00.003+05:30

England decided to pull out of the World Badminton Championships in Hyderabad. Not that they were bound to make a huge impact on the matches. But that's besides the point.

Whats relevant is that, this is becoming a trend now. Sports in India is getting targeted.
(Sports in Pak too, probably- the way Srilankan cricketers were attacked)

First it was the IPL being shifted to South Africa.
Cricket did'nt lose. India did.

Now the guns are trained on Badminton.

Do we see the threats continuing for the Nehru Cup Football (August 19-31, 2009); the hockey world cup ( March 2010); Common Wealth games (October 2010); and the cricket world cup (2011) ?

Iam sure the last two certainly will be a tug-of-ego-war between India and the terrorist outfits.

Its Indian sports under threat - generally speaking. This is on top of our Sports Boards, Assocaitions, Federations etc heaping shit on our sportsmen.

(Disclaimer : Cricketers are beyond sportsmen and being on a much higher pedestal they heap shit on others and not the other way. They can dope too or atleast avoid doping tests, since their families get to spent less time with them. Hence applying the term 'Indian Sport' to them may be misplaced.)

Someone has to pay for these Pak based anti sports threats, surely. Why should we be at the receiving end, silently bearing it all - shifting venues, cutting sorry pictures in the face of withdrawing national teams and all. Why should we?

If not the political establishments, then atleast the sports establishments in Pak should be made to pay for these. That way we may atleast sleep peacefully, after having done something.

A case of Mass Arousal

2009-08-09T21:07:00.012+05:30

Hospital, delivery, operation, nurses strike and baby dead. Do these sound like a part of any pornographic material ever published?

But pictures of this failed delivery were branded as pornography in Zambia. By none other than the President of the nation , Rupiah Banda, himself.

The journalist who mailed the photos, to highlight the plight of the patients, was charged with supplying pornography and arrested.

-------------------------------------------------------

"The defence is arguing that the case rests on the definition of obscenity and so witnesses should have to describe what counts as obscene and arousing.

The first prosecution witness, the senior private secretary to the vice-president who opened the Post's letter, was roundly embarrassed by having to describe arousal."

-------------------------------------------------------

The private secretary, I am sure, would have found it hard to describe "the great arousal" and would probably have resorted to fantacising.

The courts seem to be in cahoots with the aroused president, else it would've dismissed the case as frivoluos and refused to admit the same.

We should atleast be happy that the journalist (being woman) was charged with only pornography. Had the individual been male, they would have somehow fitted in a rape as well.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8185221.stm

Salman in Siberia?

2009-08-09T17:00:00.010+05:30

Hey there, surely a Salman look alike. The attire and all. And I didn't mean the horse.

Sorry Putin-bhai, You know what? How much ever you try, you just cannot match our Sallu-topless-guy.

Next time around, leave the horse alone and have something to do with Chinkaras and Black bucks and ofcourse you can try the ultimate stunt of mowing down a few people sleeping on the side walks, with your car.

Will He ? or Wont He? - Be finished.

2009-08-09T16:30:00.008+05:30

Where-ever I happen to read about it, its always :

"Will Rakhi wed Elesh?"
(Rakhi Sawant and Elesh Parujanwala of the "Rakhi ka Swayamvar" fame)

Iam yet to read the reverse.
The poor guy does'nt seem to have a choice nor seem to be able to stand a chance.
No one seems to care for that poor chap with suicidal tendencies.

Nobel & Nudity

2009-08-09T15:31:00.011+05:30

Both are linked.
No, they have'nt yet announced a new Nobel for the best nude. No

They are linked by blood.
Nobel Laureate father Amartya Sen's daughter, Nandana Sen, plays a nude model in the film "Raja Ravi Varma" - a film about the painter prince of the Travancore Royal Family in Kerala.

Whats more, there is every chance of an M.F.Hussain style controversy being raked up for replacing Goddesses Saraswati's and Lakshmi's faces with that of Nandana Sen.

That's after this swine flue mess gets cleaned up.

Nandana and her co-workers may be wishing the same too- for the publicity that years of advertisement cannot bring can be achieved with one good controversy.

Thus the controversial prayer to the Goddesses are already made now.
Controversial blessings remain.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/Nandana-goes-nude-is-proud-of-it/articleshow/4873356.cms

Blogging Gets on Someones Nerve

2009-08-07T23:44:00.004+05:30

A blogger gets on the nerve of nations.
Then the nation/nations/groups bring face book and twitter to their knees, atleast for a few hours.

Thats what has happened in Georgia.

The states around or behind the iron Curtain are still holding on to their charactarisitcs, I guess.

Go through the link:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/aug/07/internet-attacks-georgia-cyxymu

Epidemic, Pandemic or Whatever ; Somethings that Possibly You Could Do

2009-08-07T17:56:00.009+05:30

Everything comes to India. Except its people - they all want to go out.

After reading about it for a while - creating chaos in the east asian and western countries, we are ultimately face to face with the swine-flu.

Why the hell did it choose Pune? More swines there? I dont know.

But even Delhi and other cities are starting to throw up many more cases of the disease.

Citizens of other rich countries can quell the danger by shutting themselves out from the outside world.

But not Indians.
They will then die of hunger.
They have to essentially go to work.

So what do we Indians do?

1) Wear a mask (Iam sure, in a few days time flight tickets will be cheaper than masks)

2) Wash your hands and face frequently and keep them clean. Never touch your face with your hands after touching any object or anyone.

3) Eat what ever you want (The flu does'nt spread that way)

4) If you feel the symptoms keep away from others and consult a doctor.

Symptoms include : Cough, sore throat, fever, chills, body ache , running nose etc.

5) Take a dose of the drug Tamiflu, probably ( Forget the flight ticket, the vaccine might become costlier than the plane itself)

Read this link below, quite a useful one :

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health/Symptoms-and-prevention-of-swine-flu/articleshow/4867481.cms

Now be a gentleman and dont throw stones at the swines that cross your path.

We already have crossed that stage. Swines dont spread the disease anymore.

Its spreading from human to human now.

So be a good boy, keep yourself clean and help others around you to remain safe.

The situation is grave and can go out of hand.
Dont let that happen.
Dont let the flu make a swine out of you. protect youself.

Mind your Decibels !!

2009-08-07T09:53:00.007+05:30

I read from the TOI about the arrest of a few members belonging to a 'bhajan' (hindu religious hymns) singing group in a local train in Mumbai.

This arrest came, it seems, after the crack down earlier on the 'paan' (betel leaves)spitting and card playing groups.

This compels me to be philosophical and rationalise things yet again :

1) If 'Bhajans' on local trains can be troublesome to other (not so explicitly religious) people, should'nt we apply the same yard stick to our loudpeaker based religious fervour too?

2) It is obvious that even in a temporary place like a train people use 'bhajan' groups as a ruse to corner seats as well as carry on doing what they like to do most. These at the expense of others (say, someone who would like to quietly read).

Isnt the religion being exploited the same way outside the trains too? Isnt it high time that we started cracking down on any public display of religion.

Isnt terrorism an extrapolated phenomenon of the false religious passion. A passion hollow in spirituality and filled to the brim with ritualistic fanaticism.

3) Its time that we declared - "Religion in this country exists in the souls of the people and nowhere else"

And if it exists in the souls, why to go for temples, churches , mosques and ofcourse mobile Bhajan sounding rail compartments?

Mothers -in- Law , Safe and Kicking

2009-08-05T13:21:00.005+05:30

Its official now.

Mothers-in-law can safely kick their daughters-in-law.

Whats more, they can threaten and and recycle their used clothes too.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Kicking-daughter-in-law-or-divorce-threat-not-cruelty-SC/articleshow/4858336.cms

Look at it this way-

If the daughter-in-law's mother had kicked her when she was at her home and given her old clothes of her sister, would she have complained?

So why does she complain now?

Afterall if her mother had kicked her properly then, she would not have to be repaired now.

So any way you look at it - "Its Saas Andher Bahu Baahar" (similar sounding to Baba Ramdev's Pranayam?)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Allegations that appellant No 2 (mother-in-law) kicked the respondent (daughter-in-law) with her leg and told her that her mother is a liar may make out some other offences but not the one punishable under Section 498A. "

"Similarly her allegations that the appellant No 2 poisoned the ears of her son against the respondent; she gave two used lady suits of her daughter to the complainant (daughter-in-law) and has been giving perpetual sermons to the complainant could not be said to be offences punishable under Section 498 A", it said.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is something in it for the sons too. Now they need not fret over their ears getting poisoned from either side.

And if his mother can kick her, why not he too enjoy doing his bit.

(Disclaimer : Whereas the court decision is on a specific case, this write-up is general in nature and does not attempt to question the court nor its wisdom in any manner whatsoever. This is a write-up without any prejudice or malafide intentions to any person or institutions mentioned above)

STRINGS OF SAFETY

2009-08-04T17:27:00.005+05:30

In these uncertain times of road safety, using religious festivals in this fashion to enhance safety for the young world is most welcome.

The people who thought this out, need to be given a good round of applause.

And unlike the subterfuge of mixing business with religion, this was all about infusing more logic and spirituality in to religion.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/4854133.cms

BIHAR FEELS THREATENED

2009-08-04T10:09:00.010+05:30

It seems Maharashtra is ahead of Bihar in the number of crimes committed (..errr atleast reported) So the link below suggests

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/city/mumbai/State-ahead-of-Bihar-in-crimes/articleshow/4854034.cms

A detailed list of other crimes (in 2008), not seen in the link but shown in the paper based version of the news paper, goes like this :

Dacoities; Robberies; Burglaries; Thefts

1085; 3031; 16004; 52860 for Maharashtra

640; 1536; 3343; 14143 for Bihar

Thats awesome figures for Maharashtra. Bihar may look to out gun the Marathi Manoos next time around.

But what perplexes me is this - How to distinguish between burglary, theft, dacoity and robbery?

Each obviously looks to be a different profession.

Looking at the figures we may safely assume that while theft is a mass oriented profession with lower skill requirements, Dacoity is a class phenomenon with higher specialisation.

Also that the dacoits may have to ensure a basic minimum number of personnel and a threshold sum , otherwise they face the ignominy of being called thieves.

I pity the policemen who have to not only find the criminals but also do the exact required classification.

Are These Laws For Real ?

2009-08-03T17:57:00.003+05:30

Sunshine.co.uk, an online travel agent, has launched a guide that warns travellers about the dos and don'ts in many foreign cities.

The travel advisory goes like this :

http://in.news.yahoo.com/139/20090730/385/ten-new-guide-tells-holidaymakers-about.html

Are these for real?

Look at point no.6
(6. In Florida, any unmarried woman who parachutes on a Sunday could be jailed. Singing while wearing a swimming costume is also prohibited.)

Whats that? Are they tring to protect- the Unmarried women, Parachute or Sunday?

Point no. 8
(8. In Hong Kong the wife of a husband who commits adultery is legally entitled to kill the mistress in any manner desired, and the husband with just her bare hands.)

Thats called killing two birds with the same stone. Mistress eliminated by Mrs. Mrs eliminated, by Mr in self defence, while trying to kill her husband. Thats called a 360 degree legal protection for the Mr.

(4. In Thailand, it is illegal for anyone to leave a building without wearing their pants.)

what is the average Thai ? A Perennial pant hater?

To Be Frisked Or Not To Be Frisked?

2009-07-21T23:29:00.006+05:30

I do not wish to pass any moral judgement on the issue of Our Ex-President Abdul kalam being frisked by the Continental Airlines.

The man himself seemed to be least bothered about it, unlike Praful Patel (Union Aviation Minister) who appeared to be fuming.

But have a look at some of the 'frisking related episodes' that have happened.

1) In November 2007, Union defence minister A.K. Antony informed the Rajya Sabha that the civil aviation ministry had turned down his ministry’s request to exempt the three service chiefs from being frisked at Indian airports.

Subsequently, after the furore and heated debate, the service chiefs were excluded from being frisked.

2) Robert Vadra is excluded from being frisked when accompanying his wife or mother-in-law, both of whom obviously are not in the list.

3) George Fernandes was reportedly asked to take off his shoes and socks at a US airport. He did feel the insult.

4) Somnath Chatterjee once cancelled his trip to Australia when officials insisted on making a physical search. He probably took it as the exploitation of a 'poor communist' by the 'capitalists' and since "Inquilabs" dont work at the emigration counter he might have decided to return.

In the 1980s, the list of those exempted from being frisked at Indian airports was limited to the President, Prime minister, Chief justice of the Supreme Court, Lok Sabha speaker and State Governors.

Today,the list also includes the three Service Chiefs, the Deputy Chairman of the Planning Commission, the Attorney General of India and all Bharat Ratnas, Ex-Presidents and Ex-Prime ministers.

The rest like Robert Vadra et al are more likely to be the unoffical " green card holders".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The former US vice-president Al Gore was once stopped for extra screening at an American airport (by then he had completed his term and had become a private citizen) He said he was “more than happy to do his part for airport security" .

The people there would probably have pushed him in to the cubicle for a thorough search and later patted him on the soulder saying "Hey Gore, man you did a good job there".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is that irks (Abdul Kalam is not that type I guess) the VVIPs on being frisked?

Is it that they get the feeling that they are being doubted as a terrorist, or that they cannot be believed?

Or is it that they have hugely bloated egos and hence see themselves above the laws of the land?

The Face Book Story....

2009-07-21T00:26:00.003+05:30

Those facebook buffs need to go through this link too :-
http://www.doublex.com/section/work/appallingly-sexist-origins-facebook
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Facebook began in 2003 with two Harvard students: the now-famous programmer Zuckerberg, 25, and his classmate Eduardo Saverin, 26, who bankrolled the original operation and is no longer affiliated with the company. Both, according to the book, were self-proclaimed nerds who couldn’t get a date to save their life. The connection between not getting any and inventing Facebook would seem preposterous, if Mezrich weren’t so consistent in portraying Facebook’s founders as sexually frustrated. He measures each step of Facebook’s success in sexual currency.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is written there may or may not be true. But what needs to be undertood is :-

1) All good things may not have been started with a holy attitude.

2) Even nerds are inetrested in girls. None escapes them.

3) At the bottom of every pyramid is a female. She decides if this Pyramid is to be felled or to inspire someone else to make another pyramid - in her honour that is.

A Heart Burn - Hollywood Style

2009-07-20T23:39:00.003+05:30

--> Siena Miller suffered cleavage burn while filming new movie-->
Mon, Jul 20 09:47 PM
London, July 20 (IANS)

Hollywood actress Sienna Miller has revealed she burnt her cleavage while filming her new movie 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'.

The actress who plays femme fatale The Baroness in the movie suffered the accident after getting too near to a controlled explosion, reports contactmusic.com.

'Luckily, it wasn't my breasts, it was the bit in-between. It got a bit burnt when an explosion got a bit close,' she said.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even the fire seems to be picky and choosy on what to burn.

On second thoughts I felt this could be a promotional stunt too - "Hey, its simple. If cleavage gets burned then, surely, there is ample of that in the movie." (Other wise why the hell should that alone get burned leaving everything else intact?)

If this stunt is not enough, then I guess, they will keep burning other things as well.

77 Year Old Comes Second in Marathon

2009-07-20T23:22:00.002+05:30

I doubt if I can run even 2 Kilometers at a stretch.
This man here has completed his 93rd marathon at the age of 77.
And he started running marathons from the age of 52 after retiring from the Indian Air Force , as a cardiologist.

Iam awestricken by your achievement SIR.
You have shown that human endurance have no limits really.

Please read the link below and applaud the gentleman.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/43/20090720/890/twl-india-s-marathon-man-completes-93rd.html

INDIAN RAILWAYS - MAX DELAY 1.2 MINUTES

2009-07-19T17:44:00.007+05:30

"Train, five minutes late, is on time"

This is how the Dutch Railways made their trains reach their destinations 'on the dot'.
Currently 87% of their trains arrive inside 5 min of their respective time and they would like to improve it to 93%.

Here is the link :
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2009/06/train_five_minutes_late_is_on.php

But also read the interesting comments made on the page:

Comments of note 1:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I am not into the management and control of trains BUT I do remember watching this great program on India and though they have all sorts of other issues there, their trains are never later than 1.2 minutes late."

By Solkhar June 30, 2009 7:40 PM

This ignorant fool, above, needs to come to India urgently to make some train trips.
Heh.....1.2 minutes.?Whats that?
Let him not show any trains with that kind of accuracy, but let him show me a railway clock with that precision, anywhere in the country.
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Comments of note 2 :
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5 minutes late? That is just fine by me. Have you ever used the train networks in the UK? Trains are very rarely on time and sometimes just don't turn up at all. Give me Dutch railways any day!

By Deep Throat July 1, 2009 12:27 PM

We Indians still follow the British systems faithfully. Trains late, trains not turning up, trains turning up after a week, trains dissapearing in to rivers and lakes. You name it we have it.

We also have metro rail bridges caving in before the weekend and again falling after the weekend; best of cranes turning turtle etc.

HEY, AMIR KHAN IS NOT A FLUKE!

2009-07-19T14:26:00.003+05:30

This Amir Khan of a boxer from England (he had featured earlier in my blog in "Amir Khan did a Salman Khan" ) , is certanly not a boxer by fluke.

He is a world champ. Thats a nice find I made.

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/general/others/boxing-khan-turns-on-style-to-claim-world-title-1752347.html

GROWING UP WITH ADIGA

2009-07-19T00:03:00.005+05:30

It was nostalgic to read that a great (Booker prize winning) author like Arvind Adiga too had grown up reading english books the same way we all did.

Probabaly Enid Blyton was the only author we did not see him mentioning there.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/aravind-adiga-how-english-literature-shaped-me-1749429.html

TEEN CARDS ?

2009-07-18T23:28:00.003+05:30

Now early teenagers can swipe too.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2009/jul/15/02-cash-cards-visa

But if they cannot be expected to safe keep small amounts of pocket money, can they be expected to safely use these swipe cards?

I dont know. Guess, teenagers will themselves teach us about the innovative uses of a credit/debit card.

I GOT IT FOR YOU GUYS !! YOU ALL ARE LUCKY!!

2009-07-18T20:15:00.007+05:30

WANNA BE THE GUY WOMEN WILL DIE FOR ?

Then read further. I give the magic recipe via the link below.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/139/20090711/385/ten-seven-types-of-guys-women-can-t-resi.html

Now, when we were in this type of business, no one supplied this link.
Hence by trial & error, stiletto stamped toes, bruised egos etc we just about managed to keep our heads above water.

Women wanted the same then also, I guess (How consistent they are !!). But we never knew.

Thats not the case with you all. You got it in 7 simple capsules.

Here have them : -

1)Be Romantic - Dont ask me how. But you can always switch off the power and bring on the candle light to start with. Now when I say candle light- dont think of mosquitos. And dont sweat. You are supposed to be sitting only in A/c or in a cool mosquito free place.

2)Confident - Initially atleast. Later on it will surely be zapped.

3) Artistic - If you are not , then atleast keep on agreeing to what ever she calls art.

4) Foreign guy - Zero in on a women from a country other than your's.

5) Free spirit guy - Now dont start drinking right away. Also remember that there is a very thin line between "free spirit" and "madness" and you have to also reckon how much of "free spirit" activities are allowed in the laws of the land.

6) Smart witty guy - Never enlighten (even in jest) your lady love by saying " Had I been smart and witty why would I be with you"? Thats not being smart.

7) Considerate guy - Unlike the confident guy mentioned above - dont be assertive or aggressive. Considerate is the word here.

Now you have got a hang of things.

All the best to you dude !!

LESS GAS MORE ASS

2009-07-17T22:44:00.003+05:30

"Mass scenes of wobbling bottoms spotted in the heart of London!"

" Here's what it's all about: "A peaceful, imaginative and fun protest against oil dependency and car culture.

A shot from a protest done in London , June 2009.

Courtesy Urban 75.

I Particularly liked whats written behind that smartass.

THE TELEVISED PILL

2009-07-17T13:48:00.012+05:30

I was a worried man.

After coming back from work I had a sumptuous supper. Then I got worried. Worried about the welfare of this country and its people and finally the population explosion.

I was also worried about something else. What will the cabinet ministers in the UPA govt. (current govt.) bring out from their magic hats to impress their prime minister in the 100 days programme given by the PM.

Kapil Sibal (minister of education) got somethin glitzy to hang on to, and quickly too - scrap the board exams he announced.

(By the way what the PM said, about the 100 day ultimatum, sounded something like -Perform or Perish - the second word was perceived to be silent. Perceptions can always be wrong.)

I was watching the television while savouring my dessert.

Now since the IPL is over , there was nothing eye catching on the telly other than the titillating ads (Hey I dont watch those , honestly, and dont take me to be otherwise.)

Thats when I got deeply worried once again, though in a sleepy kind of way, about the problems faced by India. I decided to retire to bed to contemplate deeply on all those problems.

It was as I switched off the TV, yawning, that I hit upon that brilliant idea, atleast for one of the major problems plaguing India.

But I was shell shocked the next morning , when I saw in the papers that our Health and Family Welfare minister Mr. Ghulam Nabi Azad had hit upon the same idea a little while before me on the previous day.

Since that happened - my way of thinking and how I hit upon the same have no relevance here.

Mr. Azad takes over from here.

Mr. Azad reportedly gave vent to his ideas on a telly talk show . Some of those insightful lines are reproduced here. the entire link to the news item is given at the bottom of this write up.

Mr. Azad went some what like this :

"In olden days people had no other entertainment but sex, which is why they produced so many children. Today, TV is the biggest source of entertainment. Hence, it is important that there is electricity in every village so that people watch TV till late in the night. By the time the serials are over, they’ll be too tired to have sex and will fall asleep"

(Why cant we ask our rural folk to plough till midnight? That way agriculture production too can be increased along with reduction in population. But for city folks , there is no way that they can plough. Any how, unlike the rural folks, they are not sex monsters.)

"Televisions could reduce India’s population growth by 80 per cent"
(How quickly he could calculate all the related percentages, brilliant.)

As the link suggests, with people like Mr. Azad in charge of, health , family welfare, population control etc is India serious about all these?

**********************************************************************************
It is true that many women in rural India do not have knowledge of, or access to, contraception. Health services are abysmal and women are often unable to exercise any real choice. Of course all women should have the right to access contraception and to have control over their own reproduction. Yet instead of insisting that every village have access to healthcare, contraception, education and electricity in order to enjoy greater comfort, freedom and leisure time, campaigns to ‘stabilise’ the population are driven by an assumption that human life itself is a problem. People are seen as a drain on economic and natural resources and it is assumed that it is just impossible to support so many people. As Azad put it: ‘We need to think that more children means more problems.’
********************************************************************************

After this interview of Mr. Azad , I get a feeling (feelings can also be wrong) that these things can happen :

1) Television manufacturers will be elated. The cable guy will be seen doing a hip hop.

2) Condom manufacturers (and other contraceptive manufacturers too) will feel miserable.

3) Medical shops will be seen stocking supplies of television.

4) Farmers will be seen carrying television sets to the fields , just in case they feel something inbetween.

5) The scientific community will have to do a lot of research on whether this is a male contraceptive or a female one or a general one like a general anaesthesia.

6) Marriage registrations (only in rural areas) will now require, signatures + a television set.

7) Finally every year the rural folks will celebrate this day as -'Azadi from Sex'.

Now we can proudly say , "Apart from 'Zero' India has given another great concept to the world".

http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php/site/article/7156/

CARRY ON KAKA

2009-07-17T12:15:00.004+05:30

"90-year-old man moves family court for divorce"
http://in.news.yahoo.com/20/20090717/1416/tnl-90-year-old-man-moves-family-court-f.html

After all a man has a right to live his own life after a 'certain' age . Does'nt he?

"Before you go upstairs kaka - (This is Indian kaka and not the kaka of Brazilian football)
All the best to you."

WHATS UR WORTH AS AN EMPLOYEE?

2009-07-16T23:51:00.005+05:30

If you know nothing about that, I will help you in answering the same.

Its calculated by way of Human Resource Accounting (HR Accounting), it seems.

There are different models used for the same and one of the popular ones is "Lev & Schwartz model " (Ever heard of these two guys?)

How's the calculation done?

It simply discounts your potential future earnings as an employee and computes a Present Value. There u are. Your worth as on date to generate so much income for your company is reflected.

This is how Infosys came out with a valuation for its employees recently- read the link.

http://www.dnaindia.com/money/report_each-infosys-employee-worth-rs-97-lakh_1256643

So to improve employee worth what do we do?

The company simply has to pay its employees more.

But then the employees have to earn their respective higher salaries right?

So they have to put in better performance.

Ultimately it boils down to this but ina scientific manner:-

1) Since you are yourself not aware of your worth, your company computes the same to tell you this :-

" First of all you are not as worthy as you think you are. Understood? and hence start working hard from now or else you wont be there next time for us to calculate your worth. Understood lazy bugger?"

Still not clear? Read the Research Scholar's writing about the model from the link given below.

http://www.indianmba.com/Faculty_Column/FC766/fc766.html

THE RAPE RECOIL

2009-07-16T13:49:00.003+05:30

"Man appeals to sue his rape accuser"

He seeks to prosecute the rape accuser for falsely implicating him.
This is in the United Kingdom.

While it certainly gives the false rape accuser the necessary caution, it also needs to be said that this might be applicable to developed countries.

In countries like India where rape is still as stigmatic as leprosy in our society, it will only help further intimidation of the victims and thus preventing them from seeking justice.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/man-appeals-to-sue-his-rape-accuser-1748272.html

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Women who cry rape face being sued for hundreds of thousands of pounds in damages if the prosecution fails to secure a conviction in court, it was claimed during a landmark legal challenge yesterday.

Anthony Hunt, 69, a former magistate from Dorset, was jailed for rape for four years in 2003 but had his conviction quashed on appeal in 2005. Yesterday he asked the Court of Appeal to allow him to sue his accuser, identified as AB, for damages of £300,000 for what he said amounted to his malicious prosecution.

The case could open the floodgates for compensation claims from hundreds of men who have been cleared of rape.
******************************************************************************

Is there a provision in law which gives the defender the automatic rights to prosecute the accuser in case the original prosecution fails in its attempt to convict the defender ?

Like - I file a consumer court complaint. If I fail to prove the company's failure in giving proper services, do I run the risk of being sent to jail?

Is that fair and justified?

THE COURT ROOM MURDER

2009-07-16T13:32:00.005+05:30

It did take some amount of hatred to commit this crime.

Its not only in Australia that hatred & persecution occurs. It can happen anywhere and against anyone.
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“The investigation into this bloody crime is bound to show there are some indications the suspect was hostile toward foreigners — the signs are there,” said Saxony police chief Bernd Merbitz told Bild.

Magdi Al-Sayed, press officer at the German embassy in Cairo, said the case was isolated and did not reflect German attitude towards Muslims.

“It is a criminal act. It has nothing to do with persecution against Muslims,” Sayed told the Egyptian state newspaper The Egyptian Gazette.
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Terming it as a criminal act may help us to stop inflaming religious feelings, but may also stop us from getting to the bottom of things.
http://www.thedailynewsegypt.com/article.aspx?ArticleID=22902

THEY NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON - APOLLO 11

2009-07-15T23:22:00.002+05:30

It was interesting reading, bcoz in the first place,I never knew such a controversy existed.
I personally think they wouldnt have faked it so elaborately though they would have liked to.

Also the Russians and other defeated eastern bloc nations would have got to the bottom of things much sooner, had the US faked. So Iam inclined to believe the landing.

Go through the link below:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/space/5833633/Apollo-11-Moon-landing-conspiracy-theories-debunked.html

CATCH-EM -YOUNG

2009-07-15T20:23:00.006+05:30

A photo of Hizballah's
Al-mahdi scouts in lebanon- courtsey Alexander Avakian (windows of the Soul).

If they live long enough,what will they grow up to become?